Episode 1, first transmitted on Channel 4, 2 November 1982
Written by Phil Redmond, Directed by Chris Clough

Saturday. The milkman delivers on Brookside Close, Liverpool. Meanwhile, Paul and Annabelle Collins and their two children say their final goodbyes to their old suburban house before following the removal van to their new home.

Bobby Grant rises early; his wife Sheila, however, sleeps on - until Bobby places a damp cloth on her face. At the Huntingtons', Heather is in a bad mood, having overslept when Roger, responding to her request to turn off the radio, instead unplugged the alarm. Roger's criticism of her for not putting on her seatbelt doesn't help.

Bobby and Sheila return from the supermarket, to find son Barry having a late breakfast. His younger brother, Damon, is already up and out, but there is no sign yet of sister Karen. Sheila nags at Barry for coming home in the early hours last night; Barry and Bobby discuss football and the gloomy economic climate.

The Collinses arrive at Brookside Close, but when Paul opens the door to their new home he is almost pushed to the ground by a group of youths, who charge out of the house and away. Shocked, Paul leads the way in to survey the damage. In an upstairs bedroom, they find the walls decked in graffiti; when Paul turns on the water, however, they discover a more serious problem - the bathroom toilet is missing.

Damon Grant hangs out near his home with his mates Gizzmo and Ducksie and two girls, although the latter pair, bored, soon make their excuses. Returning to the Close, Damon and his two mates are spied by Paul Collins, who is convinced they were the youths he saw leaving his house.

Paul visits the Grants to pursue the matter, but causes offence when he attempts to barge past Bobby into the house. Damon eventually confesses to the graffiti, but denies knowledge of the missing toilet. Barry and Bobby visit the Collins house to investigate, and realise that the toilet must have been removed by a professional builder. Meanwhile, Sheila and Annabelle get acquainted. Bobby confiscates the money that Damon and the others had hoped to use for tickets to the match to pay for the repainting.

Barry volunteers to do a temporary fix on the Collins' plumbing so they at least have running water. Having done that, he heads off to see if he can lay his hands on an old toilet for them.