'Swiftly and with Style' Originally trasmitted on BBC1, 11/11/1985

Café owner René is driving a German tank through the country with Captain Gehring. He explains that they have been trying to blow up a train to make Hitler think a priceless painting has been destroyed. However, the captain missed the train. The tank's owner, Lieutenant Gruber, reports its theft to Herr Flick of the Gestapo. A search begins.

René's wife Edith, waitresses Yvette and Maria, and British spy Crabtree overhear Flick saying the thieves will be shot, and all set off on bicycles to rescue René.

Michelle of the resistance and her cohorts set up a roadblock to ambush the tank, mistaking it for an ammunition lorry, while hiding two British airmen in a cow costume. As the tank approaches, they open fire. René and the captain surrender and emerge. Michelle accuses René of collaboration, but flees when the Gestapo arrives. As Flick confronts René and the captain, German private Helga concocts an explanation that they were foiling a resistance plot. The explosives detonate, destroying the Gestapo car and a cover concealing the hidden café staff. The Germans depart by tank. Everyone else follows by bicycle.

At the café, the staff are discussing their escape when Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Gehring arrive dressed as civilians. Fearing Hitler's wrath, they plan to escape to Switzerland. Crabtree arrives and they hide. He solves the Colonel and the Captain's problem, explaining that the train was destroyed by the RAF.

While Edith and her mother Fanny are upstairs talking, René and Yvette smooch downstairs and discuss their elopement. Michelle and Crabtree arrive with a plan to evacuate the airmen by balloon, prompting a knickers amnesty to repair a hole in the balloon. After Helga's knickers are stolen, Flick investigates the café.

Edith tells René of her engagement to the undertaker Alphonse (René is posing as his own twin brother, having faked his death after he was supposedly shot). He cries. She relents and agrees to re-marry him, to the chagrin of Gruber. Learning of Edith's decision, Alphonse challenges René to a duel. René faints.