Edition originally transmitted on Channel 4, 5 December 1999

The Frasier title sequence - a sketched Seattle skyline - is invaded by surveillance helicopters, patrol cars and an army tank.

Rory Bremner delivers quickies on Trevor McDonald's knighthood and a devolved government in Northern Ireland.

Over at the House of Commons, William Hague (Bremner) has become a club comic, regaling members of the house with jokes about the cabinet. Later, we return for a group rendition of Aretha Franklin's 'Respect', with lead vocals by Ann Widdecombe and Tony Blair. Betty Boothroyd and Hague provide backing.

John Bird delivers a monologue as an ex-bank robber, giving prison inmates an idea of how to rehabilitate on their release. He has discovered that most financial institutes are in such disarray that there's lucrative work to be had as an advisor. This means that he gets the money anyway.

In his Christmas address from home, Tony Blair itemises the social benefits Joseph and Mary might have been entitled to. A choir recites a celebration of New Labour's unwillingness to provide sufficient handouts to the poor.

Bremner delivers another monologue, this time as Paddy Ashdown meeting with Tony Blair. How, he asks, can a government take control and keep it?

Alan Titchmarsh (Bremner) provides a seasonal guide to his merchandise.

In a monologue by John Fortune, we discover how New Labour might approach the imminent threat of a meteor hurtling towards Earth.

On Breakfast With Frost, there is a satellite debate between David Trimble and Gerry Adams. It concludes with a reworded duet of 'I Know Him So Well'.

In the weekly interview, John Bird plays George Parr, senior officer of the World Trade Organisation. He attempts to justify globalisation.

The Advisors (Bird & Fortune) grill John Prescott (Bremner) on his transport policy.

An advert for new Christmas toys, including The Deregulated Train Set and My Little Tony.

In his closing monologue, Rory Bremner evokes a pantomime, Who Wants To Be A London Mayor?

In a rewrite of the Band Aid song, 'Can You Tell That Labour's In At All?', the writers question how far Britain has progressed after two and a half years of a new government.

In a post-credits hoax trail, Channel 4 previews a string of programming based around the Ibiza Uncovered format. A documentary on churches is promised too, but only to fulfil a remit.